- Usually, there are telltale signs that a client will end up screwing you on a payment and usually it’s the hard way you end up learning these. Once in a while, however, there is always a new client that passes cleanly through the bastard filter and leaves you hanging. Solution: a threat to resell the work.
- Is there such a thing as an affordable lawyer for freelancers? Apparently there is. Maybe they were getting too cold in hell.
- How nice would it be to take a course at MIT, Carnegie Mellon or Stanford without leaving your home or paying a single cent? Quite a nice fix to lying about your education.
- Success is mighty high pedestal that drives us mad climbing it. Hey, screw success.
- I’m a programmer and I wouldn’t be doing my part if I didn’t spread the need to understand polymorphism in PHP.
- Admit it, we’re all guilty of bullying poor little Comic Sans. Finally, someone has come to his defense.
- A read somewhere that a person spends approximately two weeks in his or her lifetime waiting at stoplights. Well, you can guess how scary it is to imagine the amount of your lifetime spent making websites work for Internet Exploder,… sorry, I mean Explorer.
- Nothing like a few places for freelancers to take five and find a little humor.
- Limewire officially closed it’s doors this week. Fear not, though. File sharing may be coming to a back alley near you.
Thank God It’s Friday, But We Shall Not Letteth Forget We Work
Top Ten Failed Freelance Ventures
Nearly very freelancer has tried to expand their income through some idea that runs through his mind. Unfortunately, not every one of those is a success. Here’s a list of those that didn’t make the grade so you aren’t doomed to repeat history:
10. “Teaching Photoshop to Grandpa” ebook.
9. Viagra email marketing.
8. That new alternative to Napster just got around to finishing.
7. Blackmailing friends in those Mexico photos.
6. Selling those Mexico photos.
5. Upselling a dime bag on each design template.
4. CanYouSpareSomeChangeToANeedyFreelancer.com
3. Hitting up clients for affiliate marketing campaign.
2. Trying out that “6 Figure Yearly Income Working From Home!”
1. Blogging for a 2 figure yearly income.
Death By Pixels, PHP and 13 point Georgia
RSS readers watch out. The Freelance Rant is back from a raging vacation. Alright, I mean I have time to write now.
I had an interesting conversation with a colleague and good friend of mine after a while of not seeing each other due to our busy schedules. Typically, our conversations are about the usual… work. I vomit up leftovers of programming drivel and he burps up the latest of the 24 column 960 pixel standard layout standard.
Not that we mean to bore each other or that we are sick of each other. We work a lot. We work hard.
We just may be a little too drunk in our work for our own good though.
It therefore surprised me that my friend didn’t as much mention CSS, pixels or anything related to the digitized world for that matter.
He couldn’t stop talking about his new hobby, Legos.
I was actually quite fascinated by this. I remember having a huge Lego collection as a kid and pondered why I didn’t have any today. They are obviously still around and there is no shame in mature adults toying around with them.
Or in more appropriate words, as my friend put it, “I needed to escape from the pixels.”
After picturing these giant, scary pixel monsters chasing my friend around and having a laugh, reality set in. They chase me around, too, along with the PHP and CSS ghosts. Those bastards! No wonder how some of my precious sleep has been lost to dreaming about work at night.
Hell, I’m not going to cave in to them like Scrooge. I’m making a beeline to the other side, also known as getting my ass up from my desk and doing something else that doesn’t involve rearranging zeros and ones.
Checked the Wikipedia and looks like the word hobby isn’t extinct yet. Strike one against those monsters.
Backtracking a bit, in my own work, I usually find myself enduring periods of what I like to refer as “manic depressive.” In one month, everything clicks, a lot of works get done and I manage to grow my business some. Then in another month, I go through the motions and get the work done caring less about what I do.
You can call it cycles of motivation with burnout here but there seems to be one common element in all this: the computer and the fact I rarely leave it to do anything else.
Hey, I’m passionate about my work but, if ghosts are chasing me around in my sleep, then that can’t be healthy for me. I’m pretty sure, though, that I’m not the only one being chased by the ghosts of web dev hell (or writing hell, graphic design hell… you get the picture).
So see you later. Off to the store now for my own set of Legos.
Where In The World Is The Freelance Rant
If you’re a regular visitor to The Freelance Rant, you may have noticed I’ve been absent here for the past month of September.
No, I haven’t thrown in the cards and given up on blogging. Nope, I’m not back working for the man either.
The truth is actually the whole freelancing thing is going REALLY good for me right now, proving that maybe taking my own advice would do some wonders for me. Also proving that reading my own typed words has a shorter reach to my conscious then, say, the knowledge center of my brain does.
Anyway, the rush of work means blogging has to take a back seat for a little while longer while I stressfully attend to equally stressful clients and tiptoe on a few deadlines. Also, I need a bit of time to rest the fingers and come up with more post you can enjoy wasting your time reading.
As for how long… well, it may be a couple weeks longer or, as we say here in Spain, mañana.
I’ll still appear around the social media circuit so catch up with me on Twitter if you can.
And get back to work!
Yours truly,
Johnny
Murphy’s Laws of Freelancing
Murphy’s Laws apply to all aspects of life and work. When you think about though, weren’t they made especially for freelancing? For example…
If anything can go wrong in freelancing, it will. You’ll survive though. Maybe.
Work always comes at you when you are busiest. When you are not busy at all, lots of luck to you.
As a freelancer, you are doomed to repeat history no matter how much of it you learn in advance.
Just wing it. No one will notice.
Your client told you X but he really meant Y.
You told your client X, but he really heard Y.
You really hope to earn X dollars. You really earn X – Y dollars where Y is the time in hours you spend on Twitter.
You will develop a debilitating addiction to coffee and/or cigarettes. Luckily no one will notice the tremors since you never leave the house.
Your client is willing to pay up to 110% more than what you actually charging him.
The amount of time you spend writing an estimate is inversely proportional to the likelihood that you will actually get the project.
Vacation is solely defined as the time you spend NOT working (i.e. eating, sleeping). Commonly mistaken for “trip” which must be some word in German or something.
Freelancing Links You Can Shake a Stick At
- Readhead Writing: Amidst the funny commentary is actually good advice for freelancers to suck it up and get things done. “I don’t care if you’re sitting in your house working in your bunny slippers, in the middle of a co-working space or a coffee shop devotee. It’s time to cowboy the fuck up and start acting the way you want people to treat you.”
- Noupe: Some pretty convincing reasons to get that crazy thought out of your head on becoming a web designer.
- I Will Teach You To Be Rich: Worried about what clients would think if you raised your rate $10 an hour? How about tripling your rate with a smile in return? It’s a no-brainer technique too.
- Freelance Folder: I know I fall out of practice of searching for clients when I get busy. Here’s a nice refresher article to finding those new clients again.
- Copyblogger: In freelancing, do you do any of these mistakes when marketing your business online?
- VanSeoDesign: You’re not still too scared to ask for a 50% deposit before starting work are you? Understanding in depth why you have to be collecting deposits will convince you otherwise.
- CSS3 Playground: In case online games get a little boring for you, you can test out those DIV blocks you had in mind.
- Pushing Social: If you’re absolutely pulling your hair out trying to come up with a blog post to write, channel the boogie man instead for a sure post hit.
- The Huffington Post: Hilarious graffiti photos to brighten your day. Plus a reminder to free Bill Stickers.
- The Oatmeal: I definitely saved the best for last. No hints, just read it and laugh.








