Didn’t know freelancers had their own official dictionary, did you? Here we go with the ten best definitions from the official version:

Brief: Document containing project specifications and costs. Also what you should really put on along with a pair of pants while working.

Coffee: Second only to blood as your most vital bodily fluid.

Networking: Asking complete strangers if they can hook you up with work without explicitly asking if they can hook you up with work.

Non disclosure agreement: Like newspaper comics, one of the funniest reads you’ll ever find.

Outsourcing: Finding some poor sap to do your work for you much cheaper. Lazy bastard.

Portfolio: A compilation of the best work you were able to find on the internet.

Side income: Income made from activities other than your normal work. Gambling, Nigerian check scams and credit card fraud are common activities.

Sleep: Some swear word or something. I don’t know.

Taxes: An evil bully who steals your client payments as if they were lunch money.

Under the table: The client payments you can actually spend yourself.

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• Top Ten Things Your Client Doesn’t Want You To Know