Top Ten Caffeine/Nicotine Substitutes So Your Lazy Ass Doesn’t Have To Go To The Store

Posted: April 22nd, 2009

Has this ever happened to you? You just sat down at your desk, a little drowsy, and get up to make yourself some coffee only to realize you’re all out. Then you reach for the box of cigarettes on the table, shake it, hear no noise and scream. Take the day off? Too lazy to go to the store? You can probably get by with these substitutes:

10. Good ol’ backhands to the face never fail.

9. Whip up the cream and sugar you do have into a tasty beverage.

8. Hunt down that leftover 8-ball from last weekend.

7. Duh… have you tried a nap?

6. A couple shots of hot sauce with a ketchup chaser.

5. Make a call to the parents. Have them yell at you a bit.

4. Make a nice cup of tea with a No-Doz dropped in it.

3. Gotta crank up the AC… /DC that is.

2. A session of self-waterboarding.

1. I guess you could recycle those old coffee grounds in the trash.

More on the author, Johnny Spence
Johnny is the founder of The Freelance Rant and a freelance web programmer with 8 years in the business. Have a visit at his company Oscarrr!web or see what he's up to on Twitter.

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