Posted: January 15th, 2009
If you’re a freelancer and have had a go at the job boards, you may have noticed that sometimes employers get real specific in their project description. Here are some of the favorite disclaimers we often hear… ok, maybe we exaggerate them a little.
10. “We’re a small start up so please price way below a fair market value and include lots of freebies.”
9. “Looking for a skilled freelancer with preference from Kokomo, Indiana.”
8. “Willing to pay up to $10.99. Overseas bidders welcome.”
7. “Applicants must speak and communicate effective medieval English.”
6. “WARNING: ADULT THEMED (psst… hardcore, gang bangs and lesbian action).”
5. “This should only take fifteen seconds for a freelancer who knows whatever the hell it is they do.”
4. “Canned responses will be put in a pantry for emergency use only.”
3. “The right freelancer will have the opportunity for continued work digging ditches outside our office.”
2. “DO NOT apply if you are not familiar with Java, JQuery and John 3:15 of the Bible.”
1. “You must provide a resume, portfolio, references and hand in your water bong.”
Posted: January 13th, 2009
I know I’ve had my fair share of rough times in freelancing. Who hasn’t had to wait for that late payment to pay the already late rent? I’ve been stiffed here or there, too.
Then from ChrisDiclerico.com, I came across a story of Corey, a 21 year old homeless computer geek working night shifts at a New York City Kinko’s:
He bathes in churches, spending $20 a week on mouthwash, shaving cream, and other necessities. The self-taught Midwestern transplant earns money by helping people with their computer problems at Kinko’s come nightfall. During the day, he uses the ghetto-tech computer equipment, he discovered in a dumpster, to surf the Internet at Starbucks (picking up free wireless waves from the neighborhood). Is he surfing monster.com for a job? “No. What’s the point? No one will hire you if you don’t have an address.” Instead, he’ll navigate local news and spend most of his time in Yahoo! Chat rooms trying to find his soul mate. “I have to admit, I have quite a way with the ladies. Especially the big ones. I like mine big.”
I think I’ve seen it all now. I’m off to find my sugar momma!
Posted: January 12th, 2009
Who Saw This Coming? Freelancers, That’s Who!
For those of you who are fans of American football, you may have witnessed a couple of events that came out of nowhere, not even predicted to happen in a million years… or at least this season anyway. First, the always inept Arizona Cardinals upset the heavily favored Carolina Panthers on their own home turf. Second, the mistaken-for-dead Philly Eagles beat the defending Super Bowl champion Giants. Now they play each other next week for the chance to go to the Super Bowl.
Being from Arizona, it’s quite shocking that after the twenty plus years of being in Phoenix, the Cards finally put together a winning season and have made it this far, let alone are playing for the Super Bowl. I can’t even say I’m a true fan claiming to be more of the fair-weathered type. They have been, after all, perennial losers for the past two decades.
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Posted: January 9th, 2009
What’s going on in the world of freelance? Here are the chosen ones for the week of January 5th, 2009.
FreelanceFolder: You think freelancers have it made because they can get up at noon, take fifteen breaks in a day or even call it a day after just an hour of work? Well, hell yeah we can! The ones that make money though have a little thing called self-discipline that helps them through.
Freelance Folder: Alright, alright we don’t exactly get up at noon and take fifteen breaks a day. Freelancing is pretty damn hard because… “Despite how magnificent it can be to work for yourself, there are some things about freelancing that just plain suck.”
The Wealthy Freelancer: Has five tips for freelance success. Number 3, becoming an expert in your niche, should actually be of the most interest. Most freelancers take it for granted but it is being an expert and getting the word out that helps you get work and good pay out of it.
CMD+SHIFT: Want to know some of the reasons why some freelancers thrive and others fail?
ZenHabits: You’d probably kill to be able to work at home under your own rules. Classic case of grass is greener on the other side… the home office can actually drive you insane. These are tips on keeping yourself from the end of your rope while slaving away at thome.
Authentic Boredom: Cameron has ten things he learned after half a year of freelancing. I couldn’t agree more with all of them. Best advice: say ‘no’ as often as you say ‘yes.’
Authentic Boredom: Whoa… Cameron posted ten more things he learned after a FULL year of freelancing. Funny enough, he sounds like he matured ten years as a freelancer.
Posted: January 7th, 2009
In case you haven’t heard, there is some kind of crisis going on all over the world. No one seems to have any money nor wants to spend it for some reason, either. Well, now you are presented with the top ways to fill your pockets up during this trying period.
10. Add “tax” to your invoices. They’ll never notice. Come to think of it, I should have been doing that in the first place.
9. Sell hedge funds. It worked great for some dude named Madoff!
8. Raid the “have a penny, take a penny” dishes at the 7-11s.
7. Find a Santa suit, a bell and tea kettle painted red. Sit in front of Macy’s all day.
6. Where was that place I sold plasma to in college, again?
5. Borrow a metal detector. Hit the beach!
4. Borrow skimpy dress, lipstick. Hide genitals. Hit the street!
3. Next time you see that shopping cart full of aluminum cans unattended, jack it!
2. Move to California. Pick fruit.
1. Guess I gotta sling the rock again.
Posted: January 6th, 2009
#2 – Are You Scared Yet?
While I’m really not at all surprised, I am quite fascinated how the universal topic of conversation is now… wait, can you guess it? Yep, the E-C-O-N-O-M-Y. I mean, it doesn’t just come up while chatting with your mates. It comes up in EVERY conversation including your parents, neighbors, clerks and any other human with a pulse. We as humans have to interact and there’s nothing like common ground to do so. I don’t think we realize what we’re doing in the process keeping the economy as the central theme though.
How many times a day do you worry about your job now?
How often do you just worry, worry, worry now?
We seem to all look down on this as a major crisis happening in our lives. I won’t sit here and tell you hasn’t been for many. It’s likely you may be facing a layoff if it hasn’t happened to you yet. Of course, there are those who lost a whole lot more than their jobs. Give thanks if the only thing you face is no job in the future.
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